Kitchen confidential

A freshly baked Mumuendo for your all. Previously I’ve thought long and hard about posting mumuendos as appalling as this one and I know some of you have emailed me to say ‘I can’t believe you write that about your mum. It’s your mum for christ sake!’.

All I have to say is that she says this stuff, all I do is write it down. How you interpret it in your dirty and twisted minds is down to you. If you are sickened and shocked by it you only have yourselves to blame. Plus my mum secretly loves it – mumuendos I mean, not “it”, I assume.

Said out of the blue in the hall to pre-warn her recently home and mildly OCD partner why the kitchen was untidy:

“It’s a mess I know, but I’ve had a lot of people tonight and I really enjoyed myself”

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