Sorry the delay in updating MoB. If you had as busy a social and work life as me you’d be updating it daily, but you don’t so wind your neck in. I have many good points and too many faults to list but laziness and apathy certainly feature.
I’ve been collecting more examples of Mumuendo over the Christmas period than a Victorian naturalist collected species. The latest is below with more to follow!
On Christmas Eve my brother’s girlfriend, who also happens to be a vet, brought along to the family knees-up the newest addition to their suburban zoo. A tortoise that had its back legs removed as they were mashed by a fox. They asked everyone to help think of a name, Douglas Bader was suggested, but it turns out that was in poor taste and anyway the tortoise is a girl. So they settled on Heather, as in Mills-McCartney. I pointed out this was worse as not only was it in poor taste but it was also structurally flawed as a joke. It turns out that makes me a cock apparently.
She lifted it up to show everyone the bits of plastic that have been glued to the underside of its shell to help it drag itself around and my mum said:
“The poor thing, leave it alone. How would you like it if someone grabbed you, turned you onto your back and started picking at you?”
*Yes, I’m well aware that a turtle and a tortoise are entirely different animals. But “I’m tortoiseing” doesn’t work as a joke does it? But then again neither does “I’m turtling” in the context of this post as, unusually I know, the post has nothing to do with needing a shit. I’ll try harder next time.