Multiple mumuendo

The most recent and possibly the singularly most productive occurence of my mother’s accidental innuendo.

When explaining to a room full of extended family the revenge she wants to wreak on me because I frequently and deliberately drop my hat, step on a duck or puff the magic dragon in front of family members (they love it of course, if it’s not the laughing then what else is it making their eyes water?):

“I have fantasies about my son…”

The room descended into a bedlam of laughter and panic.

“But I do! I want to do things to him you wouldn’t even imagine…”

Utter pandemonium envelopes the crowd – what can she mean!

“I fantasise about being in his office, with him and his boss…”

Woah there Lesley, think of the children!

“…and farting!”

Relief settled on the room like warm treacle.

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